Monday, May 01, 2006

"Weight"er Rants

Time stands still………every moment that I am with you !
Time stands still …………when I look into your dark brown eyes !
……….And time definitely stands still ......when I’m on the damn treadmill trying to shed those extra pounds !!!
The indicator shows that I’ve been running for 2 min 45 secs before i look away ; after an eternity of huffing and puffing I look at it again .....and still it only shows 2 min 49 secs! Would you believe it ?
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I’ve been at this for a few days now ! Ok, there’s a wedding* around the corner ;-) and I’m supposed to look my best ; which unfortunately spells THIN !!
So every morning; at the break of dawn (ok make it the break of dawn in….say Europe ;-)) coz its usually 9:00 am by the time I wake ) I haul myself to the gym and try the torturous work-out routine. (It helps that I’ve an afternoon shift at work)
The first day I went, I discovered that the gym was on the second floor. I climbed up all the way (huff-puff) ; and decided that it was enough for the day and went home!!!After about a month; once again ego been hurt from the weight barbs I went for my second day of gymming. Been trying to be regular since that……………
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I get down from the tread mill and decide to do a few ab crunches…I think to myself that that I’ve to do at least 100 crunches a day to regain those flat abs "slightly" rounded off by beer through all these years..
So I start at it gritting my teeth .. Nnnggggggffffhhh. up ; hold! whooooosh; huffff Slam down! Again nggggggffffhhh up!! Schwarznegger stares down condescendingly at me from the wall … (This guy's poster is a part of standard statutory equipment for all gyms in the world) "Well boss" I mentally tell him " I don’t mean competition here; I don’t exactly want to be the Governor Of California ; but maybe just slim enough to avoid the jubilant declaration of the relatives as they see me" Hey, see how much weight he has put on??"
Terminator is flanked by Stallone and he reminds me of the steely determination of Rocky and the way he goes about his training .Steely determination!!!!Thats what I’d need..
I suddenly think nothing could be as inspiring as listening to "Eye of The Tiger" (Rocky Theme) right away. I could picturize myself as Rocky Balboa sprinting up the hills and throwing 500 kg punches at the punching bag; if only I could just listen to it
But what do I have here?
Ladka badaa anjaana hai, (the speakers blare at frequency 91 FM)
I go nggggggffffhhh. up….
Sapna hai sach hai fasaana hai,
whooooosh; huffff slam down
A haa yeh pagla
Nggggggffffhhh. up….
Bilkul naa badlaa
Whooooosh; huffff , slam down and I decide that I cant get up anymore !!
From that relaxed position I decide to observe the folks around me….you can be discreet watching people if you have a wall mirror which reflects everyone around. At 10 am in the morning; the gym is not too crowded and it’s the usual suspects forming the motley group.
Well, as expected there’s that dude who works out for 5 minutes and spends the next half an hour flexing his non-existent muscles; making faces at the mirror and simultaneously parting his hair different ways. And there’s the regular bored-housewives-club of 3 who all lie down on the exercise mats grabbing that frame thingies used for situps and then mostly gossip about their mother-in-laws. (They’re also my sworn enemies who do not tolerate any change of music from the Bollywood soft romantic ones which suit their exercise routine but not mine…) And the rather horizontally challenged aunty who hogs the treadmill but does not look like she’ll be losing a milligram to show for her efforts. Not even if she’s at it for a 100 years. I've to learn determination from her! And there’s the bespectacled software guy who only does one exercise- lifts at the Lift machine; no particular reason for the affinity for it apart from the fact that it is the best spot to watch TV from.
And of course, like in every gym in the world there are the couple of gym rats (as in mall rats) ; the real musclebound studs who think they own the gym, who take turns admiring their own and then their buddies’ biceps and then walk around as if they’ve got tennis balls under their armpits!
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I do a few more crunches and then collapse again in agony. I start my thinking process again. If they can call handicapped people "Differently able" cant they call "not-so-well-built" people as "Differently muscled" ??
(That’s a comforting thought; but how do I propagate this wonderful idea?)
I decide to do a few pull ups..I stand on the platform to grab the horizontal bar 9ft from ground and kick away the stool like a desperado about to hang himself. I manage 15 pull ups at one go; not bad at all- enough for the day.Took one more look at the medieval torture instruments around which pass as gym gear.
Must be getting there; I think as I step on the weighing machine. I mentally command the needle to stay in the 70s. (Note: Set low targets to avoid disappointment)
Thought of a good retort to my friend who exclaims every time he meets me
"Man !!!! you’ve put on weight!!"
"Yeah boss" I’d say "Didn’t you know??In my next movie I’m supposed to play a slightly overweight stressed out executive. I ‘m working towards looking the part"
Or as my cousin replies to the same question "You know ; you’ve to build up mass to build up muscle.i’ve almost completed building up mass. Once thru’ I’ll start building up muscle"
Not bad, eh??
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Note: * Wedding- Yeah its mine and its next month :-))! Read all about how it happened, in my my next post "Bloggi Vedi Vici". I know its been lots of time since I’ve blogged. Lots of developments have happened since my last post which i guess was quite a long time ago. One, which led to the wedding mentioned above ;-) Also won a Ford Ikon in the Brand Equity Quiz and became a mini celebrity. And last but not the least; i am moving to a new job . Quite eventful time, you could say..
Hope to post more frequently! Keep visiting and do leave ur comments

1 comment:

flaashgordon said...

# good article!
wow gold
I like it!
Posted @ 8/6/2006 9:32 AM
# re: "Weight"er Rants !!
Koch
dumbo,post a blog,pls..
Posted @ 7/26/2006 2:22 PM
# re: "Weight"er Rants !!
Rose
Rose replying to Rose..
Yep,its damn important to look good on ur d-day,ask me!!!!
Posted @ 6/26/2006 11:49 AM
# re: "Weight"er Rants !!
reyn
Wowwww!!

For losing weight [how many kilos, may I ask? ;)], for finding your better-half and for winning the Ikon:

Congrats, congrats and congrats!!! :D

Eagerly awaiting your next post!! =)
Posted @ 6/22/2006 11:27 AM
# ????
Rose
~laughs~

But isnt really imp to u to luk gud for ur wedding ??? Does it really matter that much?

:)

..Me
Posted @ 6/21/2006 2:52 PM
# re: "Weight"er Rants !!
flaash
@shiva: long time !thnx for ur wishes..am relaxin for a week after the wedding

@ mgp:thnxx for ur wishes, keep visiting

@ amita: Alas ! the spirit of exercise has already died aftr the wedding..dunnuo when i can resurrect it :-))
thnxx and keep visiting


Posted @ 5/31/2006 10:01 AM
# re: "Weight"er Rants !!
shiva
hey flash..
checked ur blog after long time.. so late in the reply.. .congratulations for ur marriage, new celebrity status & all the best for ur new job..

gr8 to read ur blog as always.. :)

Regards
Shiva
Posted @ 5/30/2006 4:20 PM
# re: "Weight"er Rants !!
mgp
Hi
Nice post
COngrats on ur marriage ikon & new job.
Cheers

Posted @ 5/23/2006 4:35 PM
# re: "Weight"er Rants !!
amita
Hi Flash

Best wishes for your wedding & Congrats for ur quiz win too :)

Let the spirit of Exercise last till eternity :P


Posted @ 5/23/2006 11:52 AM
# re: "Weight"er Rants!!
Bindu
Both ;D
Posted @ 5/14/2006 11:41 AM
# re: "Weight"er Rants!!
Bindu
Both :D
Posted @ 5/14/2006 11:40 AM
# re: "Weight"er Rants!!
Bindu
Both ;D
Posted @ 5/14/2006 11:40 AM
# re: "Weight"er Rants !!
rpramod
and i am yet to push myself to go to the gym:p:p But yeah, i dont need to lose weight, but just to be fit:p:p

and congrats on ur engagement, the ford ikon and teh new job.
Posted @ 5/8/2006 1:14 PM
# re: "Weight"er Rants !!
flaash
@SD : thnx man!want to restart gymming; was slackin off last week

@Hershey: thnxx pal; hope to write a new post soon

@lavina: thnxx ma'am ; keep visiting!!

@Nishad: dey, fitnesswise too there's some improvement..see me to believe it!!

Posted @ 5/6/2006 10:13 PM
# re: "Weight"er Rants !!
SD
very funny!!

the whole gym scene is so true. and, i know what you mean by "time standing still" on the treadmill.

all the best for your wedding!
Posted @ 5/5/2006 11:16 PM
# re: "Weight"er Rants !!
Harshal(you can call me hershey)
kept laughing allthrough the post...

also...wedding..congratulations. will wait for the next post.
Posted @ 5/5/2006 8:22 AM
# re: "Weight"er Rants !!!
lavina
Hi Flash
congrats..........:) stay happy
cheers
lavina
Posted @ 5/4/2006 9:49 PM
# re: "Weight"er Rants!!!
Nishad
Machaa... You are getting better, again. I meant blog-wise, not the fitness-wise.
Posted @ 5/2/2006 6:07 PM
# re: "Weight"er Rants!!!
flaash
@sunrays : Thnxx machaa, on both counts

@Bindu :By same phase d'u mean the gymming bit or prewedding worries? ;-)

@Ramya: Hmm, intuitive one eh?Hope marriage doesnt mean fewer posts- well, my blog was rather instrumental in meeting "her"

@redcell: thnxx

@Naresh:dey! something tells me ur wicket will fall soon too!Now let me see; where can one meet a girl interested in Roman History, Crosswords and Soccer? ;-)

@Samy:Deep bow !! thnxx Samy- been long time since we interacted- do keep visiting!

Posted @ 5/1/2006 2:43 PM
# re: "Weight"er Rants!!!
sunrays
Post Adi poli ...and congratulations on ur wedding :)
Posted @ 5/1/2006 2:17 PM
# re: "Weight"er Rants !!!
Bindu
Hey!! congrats!! and understand what you are going through!!

have a friend who sits next to me and who is going through the same phase as u.
Posted @ 5/1/2006 2:08 AM
# re: "Weight"er Rants !!
Ramya

Hi Flaash,

Was wondering if you got married or something when I didnt see a post from you for a looong time !! Looks like my intuition came true :))

So does marriage mean fewer posts ?? hope not. Would love to hear how you met your better half... waiting for your next post - hope it comes soon.

Ramya
Posted @ 4/27/2006 9:01 PM
# re: "Weight"er Rants !!
redcell
Congrats
Posted @ 4/27/2006 8:52 PM
# re: "Weight"ier Rants !!
Naresh

From Shahid to Shammi, it's all in the family.
Romance leading to marriage, I mean.

Good Luck Navin.

Posted @ 4/27/2006 6:38 PM
# re: "Weight"ier Rants !!
Samy
Congrats...on the lovely lass, the wedding...on the Ikon and hope u get all you r looking for in your new job!!
all the best pal!
Posted @ 4/27/2006 2:41 PM
# re: "Weight"ier Rants !!
flaash
@sapphire : Yeah u should torture urself to get into shape- its worth it they say !

@Maddy: thnxx for the inspiring words..Currently feelin guilty after havin some real yummy pepper chickn for lunch ;-)

@Sunny :Thnxx for the compliments. Sure we can meet up in June if u r down here. How dd ur exams go btw?

@Amar: thnx man , keep visiting

@ archie: will hav 2 take permission on what i blog about alas! Also, she screens my comments section for any suspicious feminine sounding readers :-((

@Rose: likewiseaa

@Geo: enikku korachu muzzles koodi poyathu ente kuttamaano?? btw smalladi engane pokunnu? Chicaco Bulls poley avde Chicago Kalls aano?

@chweety: Thnxx chweety !!Do keep visitng

@ jiby : Like my company ; my tux will have to consider future plans for expansion. IAS engane pokunnu?

@ silverine : Actually, i'm taking pains for the sake of those irritating relatives ;-)btw Good that u are able to post from Shimla- hope i can be regular like u wrt blogging. Thnxx for ur comments

@ shalz: Hi ! Long time..all set for the footie world up i guess!Got any posts on that? Thnxx for visiting


@ tECHJ
The muscle bound studs are the ones u hate in any gym ; mirrors-hmm aliyaa if i hear u fell down from a treadmill or so ; i'll know y !
On the marriage; well guess i have 2 blog about how we met via the blog ;-))


@ visitor : keep being a visitor, pal! thnxx a lot

@Loki: Would have to go a long way to look like u ; poor man's Arnie ;-)
Guess u know most of the story btw


Posted @ 4/27/2006 2:29 PM
# re: "Weight"ier Rants !!!
sapphire
lol m just abt to join a gym and this was "enlightening".
marriage hmmmmmmm congrats cant say tch tch u know :)too early...
Posted @ 4/26/2006 5:00 PM
# re: "Weight"ier Rants !!
Maddy
"Differently Muscled!!" Thats really cool...!

I joined a gym 8 months ago and max have only been able to go 3 times a week - if at all.... from last 6 weeks not even a day but despite such dedication it has made a tremendous difference... if you can keep up to it... do it! When the result start to show its a great feeling... believe me... first hand experience!!

Enjoy... :-)

tc, maddy
Posted @ 4/26/2006 3:01 PM
# re: "Weight"ier Rants !!!
Sunny
Hey buddy!....Aaaah....a new post after soooo loooong!!.....Howz u, pa?...So u are trying to turn 'differently muscled' in time for the wedding, eh!...I'll be in d UK then, but will catch up wth u guyz in June! :D

Hey!...Congrats for winning the Brand Equity quiz...u rock! :)

All the best for everything....alwayz! :)

Posted @ 4/26/2006 2:42 PM
# re: "Weight"ier Rants !!!
Amar
good to see you after a long time. Welcome back and all the best and hey congrats for all those achievements.
Posted @ 4/26/2006 2:08 PM
# re: "Weight"ier Rants !!!
archie
Hi,
Looong time no see/hear. I was just wondering if you had got married and was lost in marital bliss!!! congratulations anyway and waiting to hear more about your better half
Posted @ 4/26/2006 1:35 PM
# re: "Weight"er Rants !!
Rose
Nice post
Posted @ 4/26/2006 10:35 AM
# re: "Weight"er Rants !!
Geo
Aliyaa, ninakku vare pennu kittiyoo... =))

ha ha ha... sorry...

nice post... all the best for ur gym exprmnts... avasaanam muzzles koodippooyittu thaali kettaan pattaathaavaruthu... :-)
Posted @ 4/26/2006 10:14 AM
# re: "Weight"er Rants !!
chweety
hey flasssh !!
congrats on the marriage...>:D<

new car n new job too..not bad !! :D:D

waitin for the next post... :)


Posted @ 4/26/2006 9:40 AM
# re: "Weight"er Rants !!
jiby
hello maashe, kore kaalamaayallo!!! is 'her' the same gal u told me abt then!!! hearty congratulations...hope the wedding-tux hasnt been stitched yet...the way ur exercising, it cud get too big!!!hehe. all the very best!
Posted @ 4/25/2006 10:46 PM
# re: "Weight"er Rants !!
silverine
Flaash buddy, Congratulations to you and 'her'. She is a special gal indeed that you are taking such "pains" to look good for her :)

"I’m supposed to play a slightly overweight stressed out executive" ROFLAO

You are at your best again. I dont know why such a talented writer like you deprive us of regular posts *hmph*

This was damned funny. Just imagining you huffing and puffing had me in splits. :)) Please post more often after the wedding!!

Posted @ 4/25/2006 10:11 PM
# re: "Weight"er Rants !!
shalz
hey flaash,good read. your cuz' mass theory makes a lotta sense:P

congrats n all the best for wedded bliss:)
Posted @ 4/25/2006 10:10 PM
# re: "Weight"er Rants !!
tECHJ
flash

real musclebound studs who think they own the gym, who take turns admiring their own and then their buddies’ biceps and then walk around as if they’ve got tennis balls under their armpits!


tell me abt this...same in my office gym

PS: mirrors in the gym are for a reason.
the reason is damn simple, check out others without getting battling an eyelid or getting caught

PSS: congrats for winning BrandEquity and the marriage.

PSSS: do mention abt how you two met eachother. this mite give hopes to fellow bloggers
Posted @ 4/25/2006 10:10 PM
# re: "Weight"er Rants !!
visitor
LOL! "differently muscled" funny post!:)) Congratulations and keep working out! It's all gonna be worth it :)
Posted @ 4/25/2006 10:02 PM
# re: "Weight"er Rants !!
Loki
well my dear 'flash' if losing weight was as easy as i always tell you... i would have started looking like Shahid Kapoor by now! well mate, all the best for the D Day...

i still gotta know a lot about a lot of things...

cheers!
Loki